I woke up this morning to find that my mind was reeling.
Crazy intrusive thoughts generated dreadful feelings.
I’d been doing a bit better; my symptoms had been receding.
But alas, they’ve returned, the nature of non-linear healing.
When will it end? I’m so tired of this withdrawal.
My world’s been turned upside-down, my life overhauled.
A slave to a bizarre illness to which I’m enthralled.
And now, once again, my recovery has stalled.
But I’m not discouraged. I do not despair.
I accept my plight. Who said life is fair?
I trust in my Savior and the power of prayer.
And I’ve learned a few lessons, so I thought I’d share.
I’ve tried tackling each symptom to reduce my stress.
But that makes them last longer, causing me greater distress.
My mind can’t relax when I ruminate and obsess.
So, I pay them no mind as I heal and convalesce.
Neurochemical-induced fears are all Benzo lies.
I’ve learned to stop chasing the ‘What ifs?” and “Whys?”
This anxiety is just the drug wrapped up in disguise.
There’s no truth to be found here, I’ve come to realize.
Building my resilience is my primary mission.
Learning how to live with this horrific condition.
Like getting daily exercise and proper nutrition.
Focusing on gratitude improves my disposition.
I’ve adopted a mindset to accept and allow.
This is my journey, and I’ll get through it somehow.
I’ll ride out the storm waiting for a break in the clouds.
And emerge from this darkness unbroken and unbowed.
I know I’m much tougher than I would have ever believed.
Withstanding relentless torment, I couldn’t have conceived.
No more chasing rabbits. I will not be deceived.
With time I know I’ll heal and finally be relieved.
My motto is “Carpe Diem” I must seize the day!
Find whatever joy I can, each moment of each day.
I’m vertical and breathing, and I know this sounds cliché.
I will overcome this setback; when there’s a will, there’s a way!
